Tuesday, 29 April 2014

A Binary PM.

"Everyone who supports us in a public gathering is a patron and everyone who questions is a Maoist. " And likewise, "Everyone who keeps quiet on our dereliction is good and anyone who speaks is a butcher, specially Modi". These are the discussions which one could expect to take place in TMC caucuses. With the entire party being the brainchild of a doltishly imbecile and cynical harridan, there's no surprise the world has come to see of them in that light. The story doesn't stop there. Now, the party also has a self proclaimed harbor of intellect, who for once really was a throb, but now is no more than just another guy with nothing else on the slate. Now what if TMC finds itself in such a position that one of its leaders could embrace the PM's seat for a year. I mean that's how third fronts function. What if Didi becomes the PM? Just imagine. 

While the world is actually full of two types of things, only positive negative, only good and bad, TMC has an avarice of categorizing people on their will. They're so lackadaisical that their categorization ins generated and then implemented in the blink of a eye. They maintain their diplomacy for a while and when the moment is ripe, they hit the hammer on the anvil and either eulogize someone or harrow them. So what if some of the impending policy decisions are supposedly taken during Didi's tenure with Derek as a counsel?

Imagine if Didi has to take a final call on FDI in retail. First of all, the company will scrutinized for any possible combination of M,A and O in its name or the names of any of the stakeholders and secondly, the company shouldn't be selling any paintings! Paintings can get you in trouble. Thirdly, only those corporations who sign a vow of not uttering a word against TMC or any of its repressive policies would be granted a license. So, what about the viability, track record and overall impact on India's socioeconomic framework? Well, we've our own criteria for categorization and you're not devil. The rest are. That's all folks. 

On the other hand, how about reacting to terrorist insurgency and illegal immigrants. Well, as long as terrorists are either all praise or completely neutral on the inadequacies of your rule, we're fine with them. We'll also take care their right to move freely in the country is protected. Same would be the case with immigrants. We'll even give you voter id cards if you promise to vote for us, which i you don't, we'll incarcerate you anyway. The two pole scheme works perfect, makes things so simple. 

And last but not the least, how to put an end to the scuttle of problems. Unemployment, corruption, policy paralysis? Well, the binary logic can help there as well. How do you define the corrupt? It's actually about corrupt souls which are more blasphemous and they belong to those who exhibit sacrilege for TMC and its tenets. Anything else is okay. On employment, try and employ all those who're in your favor and who adulated you even when they didn't have a job. Those who cursed you simply don't deserve any. They're morally decadent. And finally, on policies, adopt those socialist principles hat take the country to the dungeons of somberness and reject those radical models that promise any progress. Accept anything repressive, reject anything progressive. As simple as it can get.Ladies and gentlemen, that's our binary PM for you.


Saturday, 26 April 2014

Virender Sehwagnegger

On 2:29 AM EDT, August 29, 1997, just as the Cyberdyne systems model 101, the first cyborg protector of John Connor predicted in 1991, Sehwag(read Skynet) did become self aware. While remaining a subject of much public revile after mercilessly devastating people's panes and windows, it became aware of its true potential, it's true flair. While it reincarnated itself in a new form and visage, the enemy wasn't really prepared. The first prototype of Sehwag was put to test against indigenous models, ones that were simply an advanced version of existing technologies, Sehwag instead was a contraption. He blew them away. The enemy got more wary!

It took two years for the initial prototype to go through multiple changes in internal connections and external structure and Sehwag was all set to be put in front of the opponents. On the other hand, the enemies knew that Sehwag's attack can only be stopped with their best available technology and the world witnessed the clash of the titans. As crisis loomed on the entire fraternity to see a grisly encounter, the enemy knew Sehwag's prowess and made sure Sehwag was eliminated before it could initiate its mechanisms. While Shoaib(read Cyberdyne T800), a clamoring tumultuous and cantankerous hotheaded machine enacted as a faithful savage, Sehwag shut itself down to protect itself from the damage it would have taken for coming out unprepared. It knew the stage would be set for it to demolish the opposition in a few years from then, and it was correct. 

March 29, 2004, 2:29 AM EDT, the longitude had changed, the frontiers had transformed, Sehwag was now a fixed machine, Shoaib was already nauseating and Akram and Waqar(Both T1000s) were now obsolete models, relieved from their duties despite the lack of any viable replacements. Sehwag was completely charged up, with its 120 years of solenoid coupled hydrogen cell power supply. It knew very well it's attack on the field will set ripples all across the world and set the stage for more such attacks. 309 rounds on the field, and that too in lesser number of trials. For the first time, someone witnessed such a terrific muzzle. The world was caught in a blitz. Just like Sehwag predicted, its enemies all over the world came up with a counterattack.

For the next 9 years nearly, Sehwag conquered all fronts, needed some much needed service, and then came back. Sehwag was now becoming cranky but it went going, like a faithful protector, always at the top to act as a shell for the rest. He always came upfront before any other warrior, took blows but made sure he gave more, took vitriolic ones, made sure he gave more intense in lieu, and simply kept progressing. In his endeavor, he partnered with the greats of Sachin(the very creator and viewer of the entire cyborg system) and even Gautam(G884, an obsolete machine sent from the planet of good captains). Sehwag claimed more careers than ever, with the number 19 becoming an epithet. 319 in tests, 219 in ODIs and 119 in T20s. And just like time would have it, a riling 19 was always on the cards.

He may have turned into an irksome moribund machine, seemingly beyond any recovery and has lost the visor that he had when he was new. Now uses glasses, which are the human way of enhancing vision. However, he still has a reprogrammable chip with the core logic still being destroying and expunging the entire attack rather than dallying and beguiling time. Sehwag was sent for a purpose, just as the one for which time sent ViV advanced prototype back in the 70's.While Sehwag saw successors, the latest of which is a Maxwell that comes with an impregnable mechanism and the best clocked processor in the history of advanced computing, the world still needs a hero who can save them from triteness, from going slow. Sehwag's the one who makes it fast, he's the one who makes us ballyhoo again, he's the one who makes the game more joyous, and trust me when I tell you, he'll be back. 

Friday, 25 April 2014

Why AAP needs a purpose?

After the grand success of our last article in this ongoing series of posts on AAP, we like to express our heartfelt gratitude to an audience that doesn't exist. For the modicum of people who liked it though, we're obliged enough to write another one for you. The last time we discussed on those elements of AAP that supposedly resulted in its self sustained nosedive into the wilderness. This time, we've got something more pensive as well as poignant about them to debate upon. 

AAP, as you all know, was formed with a purpose to unleash those forces that got abated courtesy of a self imposed maudlin that was hard to conquer.While as a congregation of people with a specific purpose, or at least as AAP deemed itself to be, it became flagrant later on when that purpose in itself was defeated, courtesy of some facetious actions that brought forward the proposition of bungling along as long as a solution was not apparent. Slowly and steadily, AAP merged into the endless sea of panoply of associations and consociations which end up in no more than vacillation and self gratification.

While all this brings an eerie sense of pallidness with it, the american association of periodontists did just that. A duly recognized professional body formed with the sole purpose of bringing the top notch doyans under a common shed for mutual benefit and progress of the field as a whole, it turned out to be a group of mercenaries and niggards, some of which were so pusillanimous that they even refused to own the monies that they actually earned, not courtesy of infringing on any fiduciary terms or deals but by virtue of their own hardwork!

Suddenly, a knowledge sharing platform became a precipitous apogee of misanthropy. While the nobles and the erudite were to share knowledge and pool in their pecuniary belongings for the restitution of the evocative times they thought they could bring back again, the group got backing from surreptitious dental associations backed by the largest dental clinics in the americas. And while all such donations were made out of conation, the members of AAP always arraigned others of falsely alleging them of accepting any such assistance. They even denied owning any money and liked to portray themselves as destitute, even though they'd earned enough for leading a luscious life. 

Moreover, the common sharing of knowledge, as it was supposed to churn out enlightenment and a much needed emancipation, turned out to be a farce. People preferred to become a confrere of a dentist who was the most qualified and despite people's own ardent professional attainments, the ruling members of the body were always voted on the basis of who ruled the association and what was the relationship of any of these chosen members with that man/woman. The organization became hackneyed and full of apostasy. Soon, internal detraction ensued but the culprits thereof were wise enough to leave. However, the association continues to work and thrive. Just hoping it does not distend its reach and becomes one to encompass all the peridontologists in the world. We'll not have any genuine ones left anymore then. 

Thursday, 24 April 2014

LS 2014: The 3 men and the 3 women.

In the run up to these elections, which turned out to be a hotbed of various public discourses and people openly wearing their opinion without restrain, I wonder if we've gone too far to realize who the real players are. Just like cricket, anything is possible in Indian politics and the ones who make the largest impact are often the ones who've been undermined for long. This time, the kind of melodrama, the kind of public detraction, the burlesque, the tirades, we've probably witnessed that intensity for the first time. Moreover, we've coronated three leaders, out of whom one is bound to come up as the baton holder, our much awaited ombudsman, our catharsis. While the debate regarding the contention between #NaMo, #RaGa and #AK49 has already seen a lot of brouhaha, jamboree and pastiche, I wonder if they're actually the game changers for this season. Maybe it's not about the three men, afterall. Maybe we overlooked the three women whose supremacy does not stem out from their oratory persona or their intellectual visage or even their dynastic provenance, but who may prove to be powerful enough to decide the fate of more than one sixth of the world's population at the end.

It may rile a lot many people, but combined, the states of UP, Tamil Nadu and West Bengal have approximately 160 seats at stake and the three women namely Mayawati, Mamta Banarjee, and Jayalalitha, can be expected to garner anywhere between 80 to 100 seats. While cumulatively the number does not signify anything given the 272 figure required to assert majority, these 80 to 100 seats might as well be the deciding factor on who gets to have their appellation emblazoned on the throne. And guess what, this may not be the first time that the fate of a billion lives lied in the hands of these women or at least two of them. While you may question the credibility of these women as the fate changers, Mayawati's supposed rescinding led to the fall of the first Vajapayee government and withdrawal of support from Jayalalitha resulted in the end of his second tenure. It was only after the two defeats that he finally understood their true position and formed a formidable alliance keeping these intricacies in mind. 

While this time, the market is already ripe with speculations of an upcoming third front, a third front's existence in itself seems to be a little too specious to believe in. The debate on leadership shall serve as a perennial threat to its existence. So what if the three ladies decide to serve one of the three possible governments? Modi, even with his swashbuckleness and flamboyance, is likely to garner no more than 230 seats for their alliance as it stands at present. Ergo, he'll need support from at least one of these three women. And like we've seen before, they're not as yielding as one thinks they are. Their T&C list is something that gives you doldrums every now and then. So despite Modi's strength in governance, half of his decisions shall lie at the mercy of this one woman he chooses to ally with. 

What about Rahul? Congress has an epithet of forming secular, or pseudo-secular alliances actually, in the past and it has even been able to run governments with support from any or all these women. However, the dimensions are different this time. Congress will have a shaky ground and hence it will require support from all of them in order to run an alliance. Talk about Laissez Faire and now you'll have three women who can ravage your peace like anything. If even one of them is powerful enough to shake your foundations, presence of the entire trio will make sure those three are the only one who take the shots. Just imagine the clamor that shall ensue. 

And finally, coming to AK. While predictions on him are likely to go awry with everyone underestimating his elan and finesse, he too, in any case, will need support from all three, or rather lend support to all three, either with or without Congress in the alliance. While AK and Congress appear to be at loggerheads, you know what happened in Delhi and there would be no surprise if they join hands again. In any case, they'll need all the three women again, not only now, but even if a re-election takes place because of the leadig party's failure to form a government. Hence, AK is bound to ally with at least 2 of these women at least for the next 10 years and once again, the din and cacophony that these women shall bring upon you, will make sure you cant stand by only your own ideology. And these women, as we know, are bereft of ideologies, they've ephemeral agendas. Once again, those two women will rule the country, unlike what we thought would happen. 

While this account may seem exasperatingly chagrining, it's a truth we need to gulp. As the nation praises its three heroes, these 3 women would already be slobbering, knowing what role they're likely to play. Once again, the magnanimous democracy of this country is all set to astonish and stupefy us. The cuts and joints that we shall witness in May, would be the apogee of strategy formulation but none can deny the role that these 3 women would play. It's not the three heroes, but these 3 ladies, who'll choose what happens with this country. Just hoping god endows them with some sanity to make sure we move ahead.

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

When AAP got sold off.

When something gets disconnected with the very purpose for which it was formed, what ensues is not pleasant. You were envisaged for a purpose and a mission and now you roam around like inebriated motleys looking for some reason or the other to come to limelight and to gather some attention. You seek more and more of it, and beyond a time, that's the only thing you are capable of doing. You not only lose the sense of what's right, you also lose that panache that set you apart, you lose that promise you cultivated through your deeds and you lose the authenticity that was the most important differentiation. In short, you call upon your own nemesis. 

This is pretty much what happened with yet another entity that started with the promise of extricating and ameliorating people from the triteness of the conventional cinema and tried to bring a fresh proposition. They took forward the usual concept of a love triad and superimposed a burly physique to the antagonist. They also made sure that the protagonist and his beloved were peculiar enough to capture attention. The enchantress was a little too petite and the protagonist needed spinach to become brawny. It was all from a distant planet for those times. They altogether created a splendid montage, one that was simply breathtaking. 

But what went wrong then? After a point of time, the stories were no longer about the baloney or the fatuousness. Instead of concentrating on the interactions between the three main characters, new superfluous characters were brought in and the theme gradually became somber. The creative teams got a little too strangled in the success of the first few episodes and they couldn't come up with anything new. The present hence became the convention of the future and an entity meant to redefine cinema became a perpetrator of the definition it wrote itself. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how Popeye the sailor man went down in history as one of the most celebrated caricatures and how associated artists productions or aap became so buoyed and flippant that they went defunct in 1958, when they were taken over. That was the end of aap. Here's what Antonio Kalecotti or AK as they call him, the first promoter of aap, had to say about it.


                               

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Vote for yourself, you fool!

And suddenly you have a barrage of posts canvassing and soliciting votes. There are posts that refer to a fake online survey suggesting how one leader is domineering over others in some online poll and some refer to reports by international authorities which themselves may not exist. It has become so archetypal for us young people to form our opinions at the blink of an eye, that I wouldn't be surprised if more than half of us end up voting on the basis of preconceived notions which we are so acquisitive about. It takes time to form an opinion and its our own prerogative to continuously put it to test again and again to reinforce it and have absolute faith in its applicability. We all are expected to get involved in politics right when we are taught civics and its inherent underlying mechanisms at the tender age of 11. Post that, we undergo an initial opinion formation, which subject to multiple exposures and secondhand experiences culminates in the denouement of ours casting a vote. For some reason, I believe that not a lot of my folks have had that transitional phase wherein they could have formed and then built upon an opinion. Instead I'm seeing people who rummage and ferret for online information to buttress their own opinion and test it or rhapsodize it by forcing it upon others. Instead of sharing untested stuff all over the Internet, thinking there's nothing wrong in sharing opinions in a democracy, one is supposed to call for introspection within self to see whether your vote genuinely represents your true belief or not. While your opinions may be innocuous to yourself, they're likely to influence a lot of naive and credulous people, who unlike you, didn't get a chance to form an opinion, which even you may not have done, for all that I know of. Anyways, it's imperative that we don't indulge in incessant formation of arguments over arguments without checking if the initial argument in itself was applicable. These elections have culminated in pools of opinions and while it's a cause to cherish, it's unedifying that people jump into these pools just because their friends have already drowned in them. Gone is that ability to ardently question an argument. Once you support your leader, you become so desultory that you start sharing any and everything like simpletons. While sharing is a way of asserting your support, at least for once check if it has anything to do with your case at the first place. I've come across reports and altercations that even in the wilderness of a secluded planet in a desolate solar system are nowhere near related to what your leader claimed at the first place. Facts over facts, we're building facts out of fiction and we strut with them as if they were the only truth. I'm not getting this point of wearing your opinion to such an extent that you're neither capable of listening to the opposing view, nor are you in a position to support your own when confronted with contradictory data. I don't know where this madness is likely to end, but I still believe the role of social networks has been largely deleterious and flagrant instead of being conducive. We, as voters, and specially young voters, may believe we have all the wisdom in the world, but ultimately, we're still waiting for our notions to be proven right through the support we seek, otherwise there was no point seeking support from those whom you know wouldn't capitulate. So, while we're already half way through, I still believe that we can have some restitution by genuinely finalizing our votes before we hit the booths, instead of forming our opinions on a histrionic tagline or an allegorical raiment or some lugubrious historicity. All who are yet to vote, vote for yourself, by voting for the one who'll make the best come out of you and the nation, and not for others, and don't you dare make others vote for you without you yourself being sure if you've voted for the right candidate. Maybe it's the only chance you'll get for the next 5 years.  

Saturday, 19 April 2014

It seriously happens only in India!

A democracy is vivid and variegated. It has colors of its own and it breeds through the people whom it vests itself in. We have traditionally been associated with being the phenomenon of a democratic propagation wherein the world looks upon us for examples of how to manage a complex system. The recent mention of encomiums all over the world for the Election Commission's comprehensive planning is a testimony to that. We serve as a genuine example of how a nation gets out of its dungeons and plights and uses democracy as a tool to soar and scale new heights. We did it all, we chose governments and we uprooted many. We made the country run at our behest for long, but these elections makes me feel skeptic about the concept of a "free and fair" election which supposedly is at the heart of every democracy, Maybe for the first time, or maybe for times immemorial for all that I know, our opinions have got influenced to such an extent and to such a scale, that the elections would be everything but "free and fair", and maybe that's something that happens only in India. 

An election fought on superficial agendas

More than agendas, these elections are fought on contrived notions and age old vendettas. Yes, we've voted for communalism or secularism before and we've even voted for ardent Luddites. However, never before was the core agenda ignored or overlooked as much as it has been this time. Listen to the speeches and listen to the expectations, you'll hear about infrastructure, you'll hear about extirpation of corruption and you'll hear about promises of extensions of existing social schemes. Best of the lot, parties soliciting votes on ideologies. Yes, these issues are pertinent but where are the issues on which the very performance of a country is rated. No one talks about education, no one talks about scientific development, no one talks about developing villages, no one talks about defense and national integrity and no one talks about health. Issues that were supposed to be the base for policy foundation, have been subjugated by the ones on which we vote, how doltish of us!

An election fought between 3 heroes

Yes, we voted for individuals before, yes we voted for their aura. Yes, we sought more of individual appeal than the veracity of an ideology and yes, parties have tried to market their agenda through a handful of doyens. However, these elections assume a rather vertiginous position when it comes to voting for the face of the national candidate than on the face of the nation. An ideology cannot be defined in words anymore, it is now defined in pictures of a party's PM candidate. Be it the communication, be it the taglines or be it the vogue that a party uses to further its stronghold, everything is based on what the party's PM candidate does on the rostrum. These elections are no longer about choosing 544 members of the parliament, they're about choosing one amongst the three who pretend to be clairvoyants claiming to be the harbingers of prosperity. 
And we nincompoops buy that.

An election fought on a virtual battlefield 

While a majority of people remain evasive to technology, the youth deems it too domineering and too ebullient to ignore. We use social media to influence and to get influenced and although that maybe because its affable, but we become too blind to look anywhere else. We've created a world of our own, virtual reality as they call, and every and anything in this world is adjudicated as either true or false, irrespective of whether it exists in the real world or not. No one bothers to check whether a real world counterpart of a claim or a comment made on social networks is available or not. We're too apathetic to do that. We're too confident about this modern mode and the suzerainty we gave it. And hence we come to live in a world that is a veil over the truth and we, like imbeciles, keep debating on the truth and applicability while that thing may or may not exist at all. Gone are the genuine political discourses where we debated and deliberated on ideologies. Now we have these arguments and counter arguments, with a few more charlatans buttressing our case with their own comments and untested links and pictures, and with no one winning at the end. We, in fact, are so confident and rapturous about our beliefs, that we feel free to share them with insouciance and gain solace in seeing others adopt them, and feel like vituperating or repudiating those who don't. But that's all there is to discussing our opinions, which now means forcing them down the throat of others via argument or via garroting. 

 While I'm not at all impressed by what is going on, we surely have more people voting. And although these people shall vote with a logic bereft of any ingenuity, we surely will be lesser indolent than those in the past. We're for the first time maybe, celebrating elections as a fete. We're using voting as a means to aplomb and we're celebrating the indelible ink like a virtue to die for. We're happy that we've voted and we're all praise for those who did and we have tirades for those who didn't. Despite being taught about the wonders of our constitution all across the ages, it took so long for us to feel pompous about it. It's good but maybe even that's a thing that can happen only in India. 

Saturday, 12 April 2014

We, the people!

"How much difference can my vote make?". 
"I don't really like the idea of voting. How is someone supposed to decide for the nation when they cant decide for themselves?".
"All of them are the same, there's no point in voting for anyone".
"There are much better things to do on a holiday than to vote".

And the list is endless. This is a list I've compiled on the basis of a certain set of responses you're likely to get from people who refuse to vote. Surprisingly, a man always gets to find arguments in support of his stand specifically when it comes to buttress an element of his indolence. And once he gets that argument, he's a tough man to catch up with. He'll always find a way to beat you with this simpleton arguments. This whole thing gets aggravated when it comes to voting. This guy, it's a mission to make him go and vote. While it's true that not exercising your right does not amount to even a moral misdemeanor, let alone a contravention, it's actually a fallacy you bequeath upon yourself. Why?, lets see.

It is fundamental in a democracy to have public participation in elections. While it is upon individual discretion whether one wants to be the part of the plenum or not, people have started seeing the constitution in a light of seclusion. For some reason not very apparent, constitution has come to be looked upon as the sole heirloom of those who are officially entrusted for ordaining the same. Yes, the constitution's implementation is largely a matter of public execution, but there are a few things about the constitution, 2 pillars of it in fact, that crumble if we don't do as we're expected to. One, violation of basic rights and two, our decision not to vote. The latter one, it seems, has a more deleterious impact.

While a man might have a billion reasons not to vote, despite the lack of a moral obligation, its becomes a desideratum for the inherent vicissitudes of a democracy that he votes.The constitution is something that came for, by and from "We, the people" of India. While we're quick to rest a claim on the rights we're entitled to courtesy of theirs been enshrined all over the constitution, we really pay no heed to the fee we are to pay for the emoluments. And amidst all prescribed duties, the aspect of voting stands out.


While denigration sects are ripe with counterarguments stating the inefficacy of voting and how flawed it could be vis-a-vis an aristocracy or plutocracy, it's this power to vote that can singlehandedly transform our future. Yes, your vote may not count and odds may be stacked against the chances of your guy winning, but your vote was maybe your last chance of making your guy inch closer to victory. Yes, your vote didn't matter to the extent of not allowing you to bring a change, but your vote was the only manifestation that you have of yours being one among those "We, the people" who were endowed and rather bestowed upon the constitution. 

While it appears as a tome, the constitution is the framework under which we live. It culminates into the life we all choose for ourselves with both its dulcets and ordeals. A vote, in this case, is not only your right to your future, but a liability towards your brethren who too belong to the "We, the people" who gave you your constitution. So, it's no more about a clique of people who participated in a caucus or a procession or who donned the same raiment in a political rally to support the same cause. It's actually about all the people on the face of the country and how you're supposed to vote in lieu of what they did to you by providing you your very way of life and by voting for your future. 

Yes, we make terrible voters. We choose chauvinists over suffragists, we choose criminals over statesmen, we choose nincompoops over intellectuals and we choose belligerent ones over gallants. We make our share of mistakes while choosing our leaders and there's no doubt our choices are substantially impudent and berserk. What matters though, is that we still have a choice. We wake up everyday with repentance for the choices we made but we still have the luxury to hope we may be able to correct them. Compare that with the resentment of waking up with a grotesque and lugubrious hairdo forced upon you by your ignoramus and imbecile leader. What matters is that you still have a choice and hence a chance to change it. 

So, while no one could force you to vote, consider it as your only way of consummating your entrenchment into the demographic motley. You take pride in your choice, you're free to be involved in discourses, you even canvass voters to vote for causes you support, but despite all that, you fail in your duties once you miss getting the indelible ink on your finger. That's pretty much like the vermilion on the forehead of a bride, signifying that your relationship with "We, the people", which you yourself are an ensconced part of, is still intact. That's the tie that matters at the end, that's the link that beats them all. 

The band of boys are back with a much better way to articulate all that I've said here. Here's a link to the Do The Ungli campaign. While we vehemently exhibit our middle fingers to express our disgruntlement and bellicosity, we lose that right if we have no ink to flaunt on our fingers. Essentially, all problems revolve around the realms the constitution builds around us and you lose your right to raise your voice the moment you exhibit delinquency in your duty to vote. So come on, India, move out and Vote!