Thursday, 17 July 2014

Newspaper articles from the future - II

19th May 2041,
14th District, 19th Town,
18th 2033 Hague Boundary Classification,

[Non conforming portions duly deleted and presenting correspondent put up in scrutiny. Piece published with due permission from the International Public Posting Board. We vehemently stand against any opposition to the sacrosanct rule of our lords.]

Another registered nuptial agreement turned disastrous today when a mere 4 months post the gamy, the male revoked on providing requisite indemnity to the female and registered the clause in the 196 page Arranged Relationship document. The male cited raging disagreements and lack of compliance as reasons to force the female to witness some rampage and get her lessons. Startlingly, this is the 15th millionth clause alteration in the last 14 days, since the new global gamy laws were finally implemented.

You might be a bit flummoxed by the new laws but here is a crux of what it entails for men. Females are requested to refrain from posting invective as we have advanced location detection and threat elimination technology in our possession. Thank You.

So, this new law is exorbitantly emboldening for the males as marriages tended to embroil them in the ruckus, making them spend less than the 120 hours per week, that is usually demanded of them for them to truly assert their jingoism. And as you already know, jingoism and complete and unquestioned acquiescence to religion are considered to be a necessity for a normal male not to appear insane. The new law is designed to ensure compliance to the basic tenets of the 2029 Rule For The Commons, which is not to be confused with the 2027 Common Rule as it pertains to the elites and the aristocrats.

So the new law entitles men to deny and relinquish any responsibility towards their "somber and pulling worse half" so that the men could duly concentrate on doing lackey and flunky jobs for their masters at different strata and so that money eventually thrives. And as a famous banker once said in 2018, "Life Thrives On Money". So, the new agreement deprives women of all those rights which cynical and retrogressive groups advocated and attained through spurious methods, and makes them a completely dependent entity. The president of the International Brotherhood once commented on the new law, proclaiming it to be, "The best way to curb any dogmatic female retribution"

14.98 million cases have been ruled out in favor of men, with women being ordained strict adherence to their men's volition, just to make sure the men can faithfully spend their 120+ hours contributing to money generation for the gentry and scions, and remaining devout and blind to religion. We personally concur with the new law and its implications and truly believe it shall go a long way in making us converge towards the ideal civilization model, thereby correctly robbing us of all our desires and inculcating the elements of self-abnegation and respect for the all powerful economy and ruling class. 



More in this series -