Sunday, 10 August 2014

Meet my biggest enemy.

So I asked myself a simple question and took quite some time to stumble upon a satisfactory answer. Why is it that despite having sky scraping aspirations and ambitions, most of us end up being flunkies and hirelings, living a life full of mediocrities, a life full of conditions and a life that is utterly restricted. Why is it that despite all of us being termed "a potential candidate" only a few of us end up becoming potentates. While a portion of the population constantly seeks newer ways of living their dream and succeeding, a substantially larger portion searches for those menial ways of just sustaining a life. Life pretty much goes like clockwork, with us ending up doing all those things society labels as 'normal' and not getting into any of those queer roads the same sane society traduces. Eventually, we all end up joining the queue of those whose only job is to besmirch and issue libels, to badmouth those who chose a new way, terming them immoral and wicked. Finally, we end up appreciating and admiring their achievements, or live our entire quota continuously badmouthing and slandering them, while they climb steps bigger than our very lifetime!

So I asked what could be the reason? I searched and searched and kept searching, like I always do when I have an attack of reverie and soliloquy. Examples after examples, of success, of failure, of emphatic achievements and of dreary lives, of rise, and of no rise. I went through many of them before realizing that there is just one single element which decides which way you'd go. Fear! The presence or absence thereof, is that one single factor which can literally change the course of your life. We term it destiny, we resort to horoscopes and chiromancy, but we are always flustered, struggling to find explanation for the lives of others. However, it's fear, plain and simple, which decides whether you take a path or tread one. 

I considered substantiating my findings with some examples. Specific examples have their own demerits so I searched for general observations. While army men are extremely terrific at their respective jobs, ones for which they're trained and they are brilliantly good at, there is also enough evidence which suggests they are good at everything. Ripped of any fear for the most supreme asset of one's life, their life itself, these men are a little too hard to be harrowed or lynched by. They are simply irrepressible and dauntless. They're so staunch that even when they're not in the forces anymore, they end up becoming the best managers, the best administrators and in certain cases, the best leaders a country ever saw. Compare them with a normal guy who fears losing his investments, his mortgage, his job, and what not! The army man fears losing none and that's why his success is so colossal, no matter what he does.

As another example, consider all the rags to riches tales. Once again, fortune favored the brave, but what mattered more was that basic human instinct, that still makes us an animal. When an animal is forced to squat and is about to be knocked down,there comes out its most savage vermin and its most devastating blow ever. These stories, all examples of people who weren't ready to get killed in the fray, are just a mere way of how nature does the trick. While most animals are ready to bow down to the supreme force, some animals fail to stoop and simply take charge, because they don't fear the ruler anymore, which in this case was the fate meted out to them. Hence they usurp and root it out completely. All just a game of that basic mamalistic instinct - the final gush of adrenaline before you die. The dose of which either kills you, or makes you the most powerful animal of the jungle.

Moral of the story; fear is my biggest enemy. It always stares me in my eye, tries to run neck to neck, tries to strike its blows, tries to drag me in its brawl. My only option is my struggle to strive and my strife of being completely fearless versus the detriment of going rogue with abrogation. Do I need to put restrains on what I do? Do I need to set up the limits? And then I end up realizing, the bounds just shrink my realm, and just make my territory further smaller. I am an animal after all, still under the reign of that supreme ruler, the king of the jungle. I need to be an intrepid and I need to be absolutely fearless. Will I be able to do that? I don't know. Will the ruler knock me down before I could barely began? I don't know that as well. But one day, I'll either break out of my cage, or I'd see myself becoming another myrmidon. I've gotta try. You've gotta try. We all have gotta try. And so we will!