Friday, 6 March 2015

Born stud!

So a couple of years ago my brother and sister-in-law were blessed with a baby boy and since I was the only one in the family who had never even as much as held a baby in his hands, I was really up for it. It took me only a couple of days to realize that my nephew was a born stud who was so snobby that most of the orthodox things made him recusant. While normal babies are shown sleeping the typical curled sleep, he'd actually stay straight and would occasionally cross his legs like CEOs do when sitting on that grand chair behind a posh table in a lavish room located in a swanky office. The guy was born stud and that aspect of his demeanor has just got more fervid with time. 

So while he was still in crude infancy, he began to learn the art of claiming an eye for an eye. Cuddle him and he'll be indolent because he's so cool that cuddling was too mainstream, but howl on him for something and if he's in your arms he would post a tight slap on your cheeks with a rather inexplicable strength. Another inveterate trait from those times was his excessive obsession with only those dance numbers which one could gyrate on. While he was not even on his feet yet, he'd actually shake his body in excellent tandem and would whine and prowl when anyone as much as dared to tune the TV to anything else.

From a couple of years ago
As he grew up, the prospects of him becoming a churlish dude also accentuated. He was gifted a tab by the age of 2 and he became so engrossed in it that he'd simply start ignoring almost everything around. By this time Psy's Gangnam style had become one of his all time favorites and he'd actually start every day by getting up, using gestures for someone to unlock the tab(Which required some effort and hence he'd never do it), and then he would use a few smooth swipes to play that video at least 5 times in loop. And boy when it came to games, he was as choosy as anyone could get. Even the most bestseller of games failed to impress him because they had some logic. He finally settled on one car racing game whose only aspect he liked was to see the cars getting crashed. I clearly told his parents he was getting dastardly pernicious. But what could've they done. The damage was irreparable now.

Then came the time he was able to communicate his preferences in his newly found euphonious mellifluous way of speaking. He now had his own way of asking people to turn on the TV, to fetch him his toys and to east whatever his whims and fancies demanded at any moment. While in other things the man's proclivities grew gradually. In food he went on to become an aficionado and he likes to have only certain things and he has brand preferences as well. Take him to a KFC and he'll use his tiny fingers to point towards his particular favorite on the item list. Take him to a mall, and he'll recognize that there's an ice cream counter just round the corner and would immediately demand for that. And given the ramifications of not giving in to his demands, one's left with no other option but to accede.

From a few months back
Boyhood was a movie that garnered legions of applause from everyone because it is indeed quite an experience to see a fledgling evolve to become the stud my nephew has turned into already. One can only imagine what more fanaticism he's going to embrace as he moves further. My brush with babysitting gave me a chance of acquainting myself with some intricacies and I've to say that putting the wrong diapers on my nephew was another major reason why he slapped the person who tried to adjure him to stop crying. So if you don't want the ignominy and humiliation of being slapped in front of others by an infant, use Pampers. I've seen the magic with which their diapers do the job.  

And here's a video that vouches for the same.