Saturday, 18 July 2015

Endangered feelings, extinct expressions!

Rewind to when you were maybe just 6 or 7 years old. When your dreams mounted up to make an edifice, and when your expectations from life were smaller than a mole hill. When every new thing you learnt brought immense satisfaction, and every mistake pointed out brought a barrage of regret. Goals and objectives didn't seem to be having any place in our lives. Life was so simple. You just had to follow some rules and there was a guarantee that you'll be happy. And hence happiness and mirth were the only things sought, and not their means or manifestation. We didn't know what happiness meant, for there was no definition. And as for making or setting one, we were too small to do that. We were just dallying with life, dabbling with everything savory. We were inquisitive, curious to find our how something works, without knowing if we'd even come across it again. And we were easily surprised, easily disappointed, and easily assuaged again as well. Things were pretty easy, because it was so easy to feel things. And then it was so easy to express them!

Love could be expressed by just cuddling around your parents arms when they picked you from the sofa after you fell asleep. Despondence could be exhibited by curling the lower lip downwards, restraining from crying, and then weeping and stopping only when your parents plonked you on their laps. Inquisitiveness could be expressed without any hesitation because it was your god damn job to ask questions. And even anger was expressed honestly and with utmost conviction.

One thing about that epoch of our lives, was that feelings used to be genuine and authentic. We didn't have a prism of any long term goals and objectives to view the world and its inhabitants from. We didn't have a lot of qualms and quandaries which mired and muddled our thoughts all the time. Feelings were heartfelt because they aroused in that one evanescent instant when something occurred to evoke the feeling and we just felt, as opposed to thinking before feeling. Thinking, and thinking too much can make us ask questions about how we feel, instead of allowing us to relish the feeling itself. And that also precludes the expression for that feeling. 

Today as the world is much more prosperous, love is supposedly found in more abundance. It is believed if there are so many people and if there is so much of progress and happiness, love too is supposed to be found in surfeit because people are enraptured. But love instead has become an onerous task for as long as people are ostensibly in love. Love has become a game of manifestation in the form of rituals, instead of love remaining the unbridled and unmatched feeling it once was. Take any celebrated love story and the essence of it was love itself. And today it as become a means to tag one in a relationship on Facebook, and about getting tattoos embossed over your bodies. Love has become rather tangible, and everything materialistic is insipid. The true joy of love would've been in the happiness one found in the company of their beloved. And since we can't feel happiness, pretty much like we can't feel many more things that lead down to happiness, we can't feel love!

Like a cascade of lost feelings, every feeling we're losing out on is making us more and more vapid as a human being. Some feelings could be so strong and so sublime that they could both excite and instigate a man to do things. And these maybe things that society may categorically state as being odious and unacceptable. But if the feeling is strong enough, it uses a human being as a medium to express itself. However it's possible only when we surrender and accede to the feeling. Which we won't do because we start thinking. We as a society might take pride in the fact that we are progressing and becoming more structured and suave. But in reality we are just a veil of sophistication and urbanity over a cradle of imperfections and even perversion. The more we can't feel the genuine and humble feelings that define our true character, the more those feelings grow stronger till the time they flip and become the absolute opposite of what they were. And we are then too docile not to allow the negative version of the same feeling to express itself, So I don't really know what people feel when they say they're happy, when they can't even feel it, let alone express it. So at the end of this one single post, do you feel anything?