Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Who do you preach, God or religion?

Who is god, or rather what is god? Is it manifested in the prayers you make at that hallowed space in your apartment, your workplace or at your shrine, or does it reside in the earthly idols and lockets you wear? Can it be summoned by merely reciting verses out of sacrosanct books, or could it be evoked with singing of mellifluous rendition. Or is it merely an omnipresent entity, which is prescient and knows when and where it has to make itself available, without its patrons making explicit and marked attempts of doing so? If you're a zealot, you'd have already left reading this by now, but if you're genuinely perplexed by the idea of seeking the ultimate truth pretty much like I am, you might just read forward. Not because I have the answer, but because both you and I share the same plight! The great odyssey of knowing we can never find god if we go with the current ways, but also not knowing how we'd find god otherwise. 

So how do we know if god is available with us at any moment or not? Only post addressing that can we come up with ways of ascertaining if the almighty can actually be felt in certain ways. While praying in countless temples, there is one thing I have realized. It's not as much in the grandeur of the temples or the redolence of flowers that evokes the feeling of being close to god. It is the fact that many others along with you are veraciously involved in an attempt to strike a connection. While most of them are genuine believers, some maybe like me and you, who'd do it because we don't know how else we can feel god by our side. And while we have different proclivities, propinquity, and beliefs, we still end up, at least for a couple of seconds, believing that god is around! And maybe that's all god needs and that's why some of us cherish that moment when our prayers are heard. So if you were to ask me, it is not in blindly praying in front of human imaginations of gods that work. It is in the act of believing in the very existence of god, that puts us in the realm where god might actually live. 

So with this mindset, I started some kind of an experiment. So I occasionally visit temples and pray just like everyone else does. While I don't really know what people preach in temples, I was told that god is sought to rescue and resuscitate us from all of our rigmaroles. So I always had an entire list of things to ask for. And truth be told, I got a lot of those things eventually. But with time, as life became more and more turbid and esoteric, I didn't even know what to ask. So my rare visit to the temples was becoming a bit of an attendance related fair which didn't seem very pleasing. I'd just go, roam around, comply with all the tacit and writ instructions and come back. But in essence, I just didn't know how to feel or what to feel in order to establish that divine connection. I was in quite a dilemma. I've always attributed a huge part of my success to my faith in the almighty and now I was turning dolorous because I didn't even know what to ask for. That meant no expectations all!

Now the question that struck me was; If there are no expectations and I go to pray just with the hope of staying happy and content, how would I feel god's presence around. Till now, god was felt through any accomplishment in which I got assistance from that 'invisible hand' that helped me. But now with no pursuit for god to assist me on, have I left god bereft of any chances of rendezvous? And it was precisely then when it struck me. God is not a manager chasing targets on a roughshod who'd think he made us happy so he should be happy. God is the happiness that comes without any expectations at all. And god is also the melancholy that comes to make us realize the worth of the happiness for and when it arrives. So it took took me in a state of utter contemplation which resulted in quite a realization. 



I'm a very woebegone kind of a person. I don't like the giant population traveling in metro trains and buses, I don't like the summers, don't like the rains either, and don't like working as much as the common man does. So with these being problems that even god raised to the power god can't solve, I didn't know what would come of my life when there wasn't anything else that I was otherwise expecting. So then on one fine day when I traveled in scorching heat for hours with the sun lingering over all the time and then was told to wait for another hour, I felt dejected and broken, and yet not expected a thing. And it was precisely then when clouds came all over, a mild zephyr started billowing and my the whole of my sweat drenched shirt now provided a comfort like none else. It was totally unexpected and I found that god is not in expectation, god is in surprise!

Then on another day when it was raining pretty heavily and I was to work on the field, I kept cursing the weather all the way and was getting hit by shreds of rain here and there, showing me signs of things to come. And when I was just 5 minutes from commencing my work on that rainy day, clouds began to disappear and the weather cleared. And I realized god is not in endowment, god is in redemption and salvation. But in essence I realized that god is ubiquitous. God is as much there in my dreams of owning a Porsche, as much god is there in the drudgery I have to go through every day to become capable enough of owning one. And god is as much in every brick of my home and my workplace, as god is in that earthly idol in the temple. And I found out that maybe god was with me, with you, with us, and with everyone all the time, waiting for us to take cognizance of the presence. And we were just a little too busy praying with closed eyes, neither seeing him in the manifestations kept in front of us, and nor finding him in the darkness. Because god could actually be found with open eyes, and that too in broad daylight!